Improving Barry

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• How Charlotte had eating disorders growing up
• That Charlotte went vegetarian when she was 10
• How she changed her mind on eating meat
• And more..

• Her website: https://charlottesederel.nl/
• On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/charlotte.jantine/
• Her personal development podcast (in Dutch):  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/charlotte-jantine-podcast/id1615019131
• Her "Beter Eten" podcast (in Dutch):  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/beter-eten-de-podcast/id1646278423

[00:00:05] Unknown:

Hey.  

[00:00:09] Unknown:

Welcome to another episode of the improving Berry podcast where I Berry interview experts in health and wellness.   And this week, I'm speaking with Charlotte Seidell,   who's a fellow Dutch person,   also a fellow photcaster.   She talks to me about her health journey, which includes   an eating disorder,   being a, plant based person and then eventually   switching to a more meat based approach   to heal herself   and her whole   journey throughout that. It was a very interesting conversation,   and I encourage you to listen all the way to the end.   As always, you can find the full transcripts   at improvingberry.com   for free.  

So without further ado, here is charlotta.   Now you have a,   Dutch podcast. Actually, you have several Dutch podcasts.   One of them is the beta   podcast, which is, to to eat better kind of literal translation.   I've been following that as well, and that's about your journey with food and how how that evolved,   to to heal yourself as well.   Maybe,   you can take a through your   health journey   as it relates to food. Let let's start with that. Okay. It's quite a journey.  

[00:01:34] Unknown:

Yeah. I think most interesting is,   to start with when I was around,   begin puberty,   teenager,   high school age.   I started to develop a relationship with students. That's not so healthy. I always thought I had to be skinnier. I was like a normal size,   puberty,   I think. But I don't know. We we all have this indoctrination   of society,   families,   images are of how you should look. So I thought and so this idea, I don't know, it doesn't matter if you are skinny or you are, not so skinny,   We all want to be leaner.   That's something in our mind. We all want we always want to lose weight. That's something that's   like, our main goal of of many women, I think. So for me, as a teenager, it became one of my goals as well. I wanted to lose weight.  

I developed   an image of myself that was not really,   corresponding anymore with the way I looked I thought I was fed, and I needed to lose weight, but it wasn't actually the case. So I developed   Yeah. A difficult relationship with foods. I started to   do a lot of sports.   I didn't eat very well, so sometimes I ate a lot a lot because you always want to compensate, so I needed to compensate for that as well again. I needed to support more, or I started to vomate. So I wanted to lose the foods that I ate too much, or,   like, the food that I ate too much could have been a rice cracker with peanut butter.  

Maybe one too much, but then I was already panicking that, oh my god, it's too much. So,   yeah, during my   teenage   age and,   also, again, twenties, I really struggled with volumia,   and neither will also a little bit with. You know, it's   it changes a little bit, but   I think main theme is not a healthy relationship with my body.   With foods,   always   having the feeling that I was too much, that I was too fat.   In those years,   a   like, food was really an obsession for me.   I also was not taking good care of my body, so I lost my periods.   I think I was beginning 20, so it was really skinny.  

Until the moment of now, like, I'm 31 right now. I still don't have it back. Although I'm eating, I think, much more healthy now,   a few years already, Mhmm.   I I'm still waiting actually for that to return my my cycle in my life. Okay.   So   I think when it was 25 or something,   I stopped   vomiting, I stopped the balumia, and I stopped to take better care of myself.   And still   the obsession was in my mind that's   I started to take better care.   Myself. That also became one of the goals.   Yeah.   Slowly,   I became older. I became more mature. I became I became began to like myself more, love myself more, gain more, self worth,   self love, all those things.  

The whole food thing   became smaller.   But I was always in it it it always remained a theme for me.   I was a vegetarian since I'm ten years old. So when I was a little kid, I told my parents, I don't wanna eat animals anymore.   I was really an animal friend. I had horses,   back home. And, yeah,   I was also really concerned about the environment, and everybody's telling you that when you eat meat, it's best for the environment that the animal. So Yeah. I didn't wanna do that anymore.   I think in my end twenties,   I started to Long for meat. I was in this whole journey of taking better care of myself, eating more fats,   becoming more healthy.  

I started to look better gained a little bit of fat, which was really okay.   And I started to long four meats, but I had this identity of being a vegetarian.   So   I I like then, I had a boyfriend and sometimes we nee we made some food, for instance, a soup where there was some meat inside, and I always didn't eat meat. But then when he was to his work,   I was   secretly taking some meat out of the pen and eating it.   And I can't spend anything. Like, what am I doing? Because this whole secretly eating, that is something what I really did a lot when I was my eating disorders.   Because I didn't do it anymore.  

That's what I was eating the meat. So I thought, okay. What's what's going on? I I actually didn't dare to do it, but I really wanted to do it. So I was struggling a little bit with it. I didn't wanna tell anybody because I thought in my mind, it's Bants. You know, it's bans for the environment, bans for the animals.   My whole system was, I want to eat meat.   So I   I was searching for that a little bit. And then I went to a therapist who   measured what kind of body type I have. You have different kind of body types. Sometimes are more suitable for eating a lot of carbohydrates   or at least eating some carbohydrates,   and you have some body types on the other extreme   that are really made for eating fats, eating animal proteins,   butter, that's kind of stuff.  

It turned out that I was the   extreme meat's fats type.   And that can also be a little bit   yeah. Because we didn't do it for such a long time. I didn't eat meat for such a long time that your body is, like, screaming for it. That can also influence the results. So I started to eat meats slowly a little bit,   because also of the taste and because I was longing for it so much. So in my mind that I tried to tell me, okay. It's okay. Just do it a little bit. It's some organic.   And,   I I lost it. And then half year later, I conducted her, like, okay.   Let's test again.  

And   the same profile turned out to be me. So   I really have a body type that's good for eating fats   and having animal protein, having animal fats.   I gave more into this.   I think that's about 2 years ago.   And then he I started to eat more meats, more meats, and I was thinking they actually need those vegetables anymore.   I do it because it's lean.   There's not not a lot of calories in it. I think it's healthy, but   where you want it?   I started to read about it and,   discovered corded for diets.   And, of course,   Every topic you search for only internet, there's like a huge amount of information and community and everything around it. So also with the garden for dye. I discovered there are many, many people who only eat meat, and they feel great.   And, so I started to read about it. Watching YouTube videos. I,   joined, part of our community in the United States. It's called steak and butter game. I with them, maybe some people know her.  

I learned a lot about carnivore diets, and I was   I was really doing it. So I was actually only eating meat. I was following a protocol.   There were days that I felt really great. Because you you when you only eat those proteins, those fits,   you don't have so many eating moments anymore on the day,   you getting to this good ketosis.   So you feel   light, you feel sharp,   mentally. So I really had a lot of those moments, and that felt really good. My sleep improved.   I have more   calls in my system.   So   There were a lot of improvements, actually.   But something what was a downside for me is that I was since doing card for gaining and gaining and gaining. And   that was really difficult for me also because I had this show a difficult relationship with food in the past,   and it's still running through my system. You know what it's mental   thing, and it's,   yeah, needing to be skinny,   that's still running through my veins, and   Because I was gaming, I, it was so difficult for me, and I was asking questions about it. And I so it's cold fronted me with my   Yeah. Need to be thin, like, how important that still was for me. And as long as I wasn't on the safe side, it's like, okay. I have this super low BMI and   I have a small size. I'm okay. But when that started to change,   I really had to face that fear.  

Of not being good enough, not being beautiful.   I don't know. What kind of fears that's come up with that then.   I did have a thing for about a year.   And struggle a little bit with the weight gain. Another thing I struggled with was   sports results. I'm a very   Speed cyclist. I don't want to biking.   I did weightlifting.   I was not that strong anymore.   Especially not with the cycling. So when it came to insurance and also power in the insurance,   the benefit was that I didn't didn't need to eat that much anymore when I was on the bike.   I could easily go biking for 3 hours or more without having foods that was like freedom.  

But   I wasn't that powerful anymore, and I wasn't that   yeah. And they're jethic. Actually, that feeling all the bike, you feel like, oh my god. I'm so strong today.   That wasn't there anymore. And also something   felt mostly when I woke up in the morning,   I used to wake up always super early, like, I I get up between 4:5 every morning. I still do that.   Not because I put my alarm, but that's my rhythm. Mhmm.   I was waking up   Not so racist. I felt tired.   I know I have this transition period, and I know that's   everybody says you have to go through it and it gets better.   After, I think, 1 year.  

They'll really get better. And I didn't really want to eat meat anymore.   I think that's now something like 2 months ago.   Maybe living more.   I started to   not wanting the meat anymore.   And I had to force myself to eat it, and I thought, yeah, all the other stuff is Heads because now it was brainwashed into this whole carnival community.   So I thought   vegetables are bad because it oxalates,   Oils is bad because it's omega 6.   You know, it was really re brainwashed in a new food paradigm.   And that's something that I do. I I dive into a paradigm   with the vegetarian stuff. It's, I don't know, whatever it is that comes to me, and I'm be totally enthusiastic about it.  

I go 100%,   but it also brainwashes me a little bit. And then at some point, most of the time, like, what happened think 2 months ago.   My eyes opened a little bit like, okay. Actually, don't want this anywhere. My body is really not longing for meats.   Maybe I can have some vegetables.   Maybe I can do some, like, white white something I like, so much. I don't know. It's people in the hill. Spades will say that's really, really bad, but they really love rice crackers with peanut butter and avocado and cheese.   And no I'm more back to what how I used to eat.  

Like, I I do breakfast, lunch, dinner.   Not much in not so much in between, actually, but   I have peanut butter and rice breakfast for breakfast with some things that dub it or or make my homeless myself with   I eat a lot of eggs. I eat meat most of the time with my dinner. Sometimes not.   So   there's   more   growth in it right now,   less rules.   I'm not sure where it goes.   When I started this whole carnival thing, I did hear I just I heard many stories that   women who lost their periods   gained it back. It didn't happen to me now. Yes.   So I'm not strict card over anymore. I do eat meat, and I think that's really appropriate for my body.  

It's not strictly meat anymore.  

[00:14:52] Unknown:

Okay.   Yeah. Well, that's quite of a quite a story, and there's,   so much in there.   So let me just pick up some some bits and and ask some follow-up questions there. So, in the beginning,   You said you had a very difficult relationship with food in your teens going on through your beginning of your twenties.   Which things like, bulimia and such,   you are 31 now   I'm I'm my I'm wondering out loud,   you know, what what could have caused   your   body image there.   Like, did you have a phone as well when you were a teenager that was that already a thing back then? Phone with social media and and images of, you know, skinny ladies, things like that. No. Much as  

[00:15:44] Unknown:

no. I don't think so.  

[00:15:47] Unknown:

I guess, still, you know, in the media,   on television,   series,   you know, movies. That's Sure. I mean all get that. Yeah.  

[00:15:57] Unknown:

Our our mothers, like your mother, my mother, they they didn't grow   grow up with a smartphone.   Yeah. But they have the same problem.   That's true. Generation   of women. And I think all star generations back. Like, the   whole   Sam and hissing, of having boobs, a bird's,  

[00:16:15] Unknown:

hips,  

[00:16:22] Unknown:

women have more fat normally than men. Yeah.   But that's the whole thing is   Yeah. We we don't value that as much. We value being super lean, and   it's   I think already for a long time in our society, and it's running through all our veins, actually,   but not only me, And I think some   mostly women and then solo women are more susceptible for   picking updates,   body image problem has also something to do with.   Family you grew up in, like, I grew up in a family. My mother was many times on a diet and she did soup diet and she did bread diet and she did soyabucker, which is which used to be,   a famous   dietitian in the Netherlands. She made some books, and, you know, you had so many households in a traditional book was on the table and The women were following the the diet rules.  

So   I drove a date.   I think the relationship with my father is very important.   Treater. So   yeah. I'm I'm I mean,   Family Dynamics,   family constellations.   That's what I knew from my job, so I really dashed into my own   family constellation.   Yeah.   I think the relationship with my father is a big impact.   Well, my relationship with my body, with myself, like, a way I thought   I needed to be   to   that he would like me.   No. That'd be this special daughter,   that get most of the attention. It needed to be   I need it to be beautiful   to to   having   feeling the night worthy.  

There was an important failure   in our family. Yeah.   And I had some other family,   owns,   uncles. They had a lot of, they were obese.   There were you know, we always my parents talk about them, like, oh, they really do fit. And did you see them eating? And so all this indoctrination   is going into your your head and   So I'm I have this,   character that I want to   I wanna do it good. Like, I wanna do it. Yeah. Uh-uh. I need I need people to think I'm good. So that that gives me a feeling of being okay.  

[00:18:57] Unknown:

Yeah.   Yeah. That's a lot,   that's a good thing to to think about. So, you know, you make me think about my, daughter, for instance, who is now seven years old, and they get so much subconsciously   from what parents say, like you say, you know, if your parents,   are fat shaming. Other people like, look at what they're eating. That's bad. That's unhealthy. That's fat. They all take that in,   into their subconscious and that  

[00:19:26] Unknown:

can, you know, result to all sorts of things Sure. Including things like these. Yeah. Everything you say goes into their mind. Everything. They are so Like, you are their father.   They are so,   looking up to you. Yeah. And, like, it's it's also a biological thing that's a   need   you to like them because you take care of them. And it doesn't really matter actually what you say to them. Like, I don't know. You're great. But when you don't   lift that, you know, when you are struggling yourself with food for instance or or   living your values or   or giving especially your talents, you know, then you don't because they will copy you. Yeah.  

So I don't want to put the load pressure. I think it's  

[00:20:12] Unknown:

it's how it goes. And you can't. That's how it goes. You know? Yeah. You can do it. As far as we're we're always thinking, oh, it. You know, did I fuck that up? Okay. Jeez.   We're we're trying to do our best, but, yeah, it's it's it's good to be mindful about that this type of stuff also has a huge impact on,   on children's lives and then how they progress through life as well. Exactly. Yeah. So when you were were a teenager and had this bad relationship with food,   that must have been very, very difficult.   Were you able to talk with anybody about that with your parents, with with a counselor, or something?  



[00:20:49] Unknown:

At some point.   It was a moment where it changed. I think I was   80.   Almost 19. And   after I graduated high school, I start I traveled for 1 year through Australia, New Zealand, Asia, I came back and I   left my parents again and I came back and I was really fully in my eating disorder.   I I became sick. All the time. They had a infection in my bladder, or then I had a flu, and, you know, I was   who was eating nuts healthy, at some point, I was laying in my beds. I would I had the flu fever,   and my mom was sitting in my bed, and she said, so Charlotte's   Let's be honest. How often do your farmers?  

And I said,   nigger.   Because I was I didn't want to tell her. She was like, Charlotte's come on. We all know.   And then I started to cry, and next day, we went to   general practitioner and then the whole thing started. So I started to see a psychologist,   and ended up in a special group for people with eating this order.   A whole journey with therapy,   older sorts of coaching,   started often, and it's   debit for many years. Not always only because of eating disorder. Sometimes I   was doing well, and then sometimes it came back. So I needed to see a therapist again. So Yeah. Yeah.  

[00:22:17] Unknown:

Okay. Yeah. So this was this big, deep, dark secret that you kept for yourself for such a long time.   Yeah. Must have been very difficult to live with that,   by yourself,   you know, not being able to tell anybody.  

[00:22:31] Unknown:

I I didn't want to tell anybody. So you don't think, oh my god. I'm so lonely.   Poor me. You think nobody may see it.   So you it's difficult to   really get a connection with other people because you are   living   on your own island   with a big secret.   You don't want anybody to find out because you're really ashamed of it. So You're a different person than what you project out into the world. Yes.   Yeah.   And I think other people can feel that and see that.   Especially if they   some people are also on their own island. They have their own problems. They have their addictions. They have their fear of connection.   Fear of really, really giving. For them, a person like how I was is really safe because we both have this fear of connection and this fear of opening up. So are in a very comfortable space together,   but the people who   feel you,   they I think immediately feel and see the how stressed I was and   what a big secret I was carrying with me.  



[00:23:40] Unknown:

Yeah. That's very difficult.   Yeah. I'm glad that, that that's better now.  

[00:23:46] Unknown:

Yes. Me too. Yeah.   And I have to be honest.   It's much better than it has ever been.   And still,   it's a thing for me.   For instance, I'm now in a relationship.   Sometimes it comes up. That's because I I'm not   I think normal size.   But sometimes, you know, when you gain a little, you lose a little, you gain a, that's   normal flow.   I can be stressed about it, and I don't want to   shower with him, for instance, anymore when I'm not feeling nice in my body, or I don't want to be intimate with him because   it I'm insecure.   And so sometimes it still comes up. And I know also because he has a preference for skinny   people.  

I feel this pressure. I I know it's in my mind. I know, you know, when   When you have a feeling or thoughts or a pressure or   something you think about yourself,   it has everything to do with my own. Picture of myself, my, yeah, the way I think about myself.   But it can be triggered   by   your environment.   That sometimes happens.   And so it's also for us to find a way in it because I I want disconnection.   I want to be   all the way here and also in this relationship.   And I don't want that myself image or being ashamed of my body gets in the way because I I want to be there all the way, and I want him all the way with everything.   So I need to show up myself as well.  

Sometimes when I   feel   judgment and   Let's lay it out. If it's his judgment or my judgment about myself, probably both, it's   it's a challenge, and it's something I I still have to face sometimes, and it's it's it goes better than ever.   Let's see what's the thing.  

[00:25:51] Unknown:

Yeah. Yeah. That's core insecurity  

[00:25:54] Unknown:

is still still there. Sometimes it comes up. Yeah. When I'm not in a good place,   it comes up.   And I have to deal with it. So I'm   you have these people   who   Big programs about healing your eating disorder.   So, you know, some people say carnivore diet. He'll eating these orders, and you will never have this anymore. And your body changes to perfect and your food appetite changes to perfect, and you never think about food anymore.   And sometimes people say it in the vegan diets, and some people find it in other ways, or some people   find it through working with your own, I don't know. There are people who claim   that   you can   really lose this.  

This thing that sometimes comes up in me and I'm not sure. I haven't found the secrets.   Of really, like,   losing this   In security forever.   Or yeah. Completely.  

[00:26:55] Unknown:

Oh, you've been living with it so long.   And it's so ingrained into your core, I think,   that it's it's gonna be very difficult to, get rid of that, but,   I find it very,   brave and good that at least, you know, you can recognize   when it's there and when it's   when it's poking you and when it's, you know, poking out Yeah. And when it's a problem   so that you can think about a deal with it. And also talk about it with your,  

[00:27:23] Unknown:

partner, for instance. Yeah. So that's, you know, that's step 1 to recognize it. Yeah. No one. I think Okay. If if there are 10 steps, probably I am at step 7 in this whole journey, you know, and that's how I feel. I feel it's it's going   better than ever.   I feel   I feel better than ever in my body.   And so, yeah,   I'm super grateful and happy with that.   And still, sometimes, it's there. Yeah. And I have to deal with it, and I have to talk about it.  

[00:27:58] Unknown:

And that's good. That's good. Yeah.   So do you feel like,   you went from one eating disorder to another as in   carnivore diet, you know, if I explain the carnivore diet to, let's say, normal people. Yeah.   You know? It who They,   look at me, like, I am having a an eating disorder. Yeah. So would you say,   do you think that maybe this is also   some sort of eating disorder.   Whilst now, of course, you have a more broad palate, but when you were on strict carnivore Yeah.  

[00:28:32] Unknown:

It was I was I I will not say it's eating disorder,   but it was for me,   a very   streaks,   say, ace, because there were rules.   Yes. And that's easy. And, I I mean, everybody has rules. If you're another carnivore and you eat, sandwiches with cheese or whatever. You eat maybe healthy   stuff,   then you also have roast. You think I'm not I'm not gonna have chocolate. Or I'm gonna do one sandwich. That's my rule. So we all have restrictions.   But then   In Carnverde, it's just a different way of restricting.   It's restricting in the food group she eats. It's only animal based.   So,   if you would say that's an eating disorder, I think all all we all have eating disorders because we all have rules.  

I mean, or at least many of us.   Yeah.   Carnival diet is a little bit   different than we   What we think is normal.   So we think it's like this order or   very extreme. It's just a different set of rules.   For me,   it gave me some safety. Yes. And   I have to speak with foods, I found a new thing. I dove 100 percent into it.   So it was out of balance, I think. Then it was good in a way because I really   healed my anxiety for fit   and butter and meet   I think it was from my body really good that I gave into it all the way. That's, you know, for the first time in 20 years, I   Got some proper nutrition,   and I think that was really good. So   happy with it.  

I'm also happy with the place where I know it's a little bit more relaxed and a little bit less streets.   So, yeah, so You said   When people people tell you that you have anything to sort of do you doing? Are you doing credit for right now?  

[00:30:42] Unknown:

Or Yeah. Kinda for animal based.   So also fruit and such, and, you know, I'm I'm flexible.   So for instance, when I'm with my kids or something, I can   rice or whatever. It's fine. Yeah.   I can do that.   But,   yeah, I try not to.   But what I'm what I'm,   getting at is that, obviously, this way of eating is a restriction   that is   something that we think about consciously   as people   where   lots of people that I know that I count as normal people kinda don't have any rules, really.   Like, they just eat whatever they want, like, you know,   ice cream,   french fries, Phicondella, which is a Dutch snack,   you know, whatever. As long as they feel like, well, I didn't eat extreme amounts or something, I'm fine.  

So,   eating healthily already   in in any way, if if that is vegan or whatever you you want   is by many seen as,   a different pattern than how they do it. Yeah. Like, why do you even have to think about that at all? You just go to the supermarkets,   fill up your cart and just eat whatever you want. Right? That's how most people do it. Okay. So that's why why I, why I ask that.  

[00:32:03] Unknown:

I have to be honest, and I disagree with you   because I think many people think about   how they eat. And, okay, they do they do eat frequently.   They do take French fries, but they take French fries once a week because it's a treat.   For instance,   They have rules. They think, oh, I want to have an order sandwich with cheese, but they already had free, so maybe I'm not taking it. Right.   I   but maybe I'm, of course, I'm biased because Yeah. I've been in this obsession for so long that I cannot imagine that people don't have.   Thoughts about it, but   I see for instance people as my father who's not struggling with phones.  

Also, things that's yeah. We're your mother and daughter have been really healthy last week because we made our own yogurt and we did this and we did that. Yeah. And   yeah. So, yeah, we're doing great. And before we grow our old vegetables. So   everybody   has some rules about it, and   we're not that strong   to always follow them Mhmm. Because, you know, we are all We also have this reptile brave and   difficult to stick to the things that we set me wanted to do. Yeah.   But I I I think people have ruled, but maybe I'm I'm talking from a different place than you because probably you didn't really have that many rules for your   18 thing until you started to discover.  

Yeah. How much you can benefit when you start to care about what you eat when you hit all your health problems and stuff?  

[00:33:38] Unknown:

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.   Which was pretty early on. So I discovered that I,   was lactose intolerant   very early.   Which is a huge restriction, at least in the Netherlands, because that means that all of the packaged foods, you have to look at what's in there, because those contain milk or some milk derivative.   Yes. Will hurt me, which is a huge, restriction. So from then on, I was kinda   very mindful about what I ate, and then it just became more strict.   And I also discovered that I was gluten intolerant   It's lactose intolerance and gluten intolerance in the Netherlands.   Yeah. It's it's difficult because everything is bread and milk based here, as you know, Yeah.  



[00:34:21] Unknown:

Hey.   Why do you   it's   more   normal when your kids are.   With you because   why wouldn't you rate? Like, if if carnivore ish or animal based is   you you think, like,   healthy, most healthy good friend.   Everybody?  

[00:34:44] Unknown:

And why are you still That's a good question. So that there's there's a couple of,   of reasons about that. Yeah. So first of all,   that makes cooking easier.   As in, you know, if you're making one dish,   for the kids, let's say it's,   rice with some meat and some vegetables,   Then it's easier, of course, to make that for everybody and everybody eats the same thing, then I make something else,   for myself,   So that that's one thing. It's ease.   It's also,   you know, kids don't like to eat certain things. It needs to be very palatable   So if I just give him burgers and that's it, they won't like that. So No? Well, if for instance,   my daughter is not in the mood for burgers that day, happens,   then she won't eat something. So if she has options on her plate, like also potatoes, for instance, she might then just eat the potatoes and a little bit of the burger other days, it might be the other way around. Okay. Or, you know, if I spray the whole thing with ketchup, they might eat the whole thing.  

So, you know, for kids, it's more difficult because   they don't follow the rules. They just eat whatever their body tells them to eat. Yeah. At that point in time. Yeah. Your options is good for them. Okay. And then if I,   demonstrate   that I eat a very restricted thing. Like, I don't eat those potatoes and such. I obviously need to explain why.   And then what am I gonna say? Potatoes are bad for you. No. You're gonna say because I don't feel like it. Yeah.   But like you say, like we discussed earlier, they will copy everything.   So my daughter, for instance, she's already   she doesn't really want to have any dairy because daddy also don't doesn't have dairy. Yeah.  

And she is not lactose intolerant.   So I would love for her to, you know, consume dairy if she can.   So I'm I'm   trying to   set an example of that they can eat whatever they want as long as it's healthy.   Okay.   Yeah. So, you know, it's a difficult balance. Mhmm. It's very difficult. Yeah.   But, Jan, and, therefore, I try to remain flexible also for myself to have some metabolic flexibility.   Yeah. Because I don't wanna be somebody that,   eats very healthily for myself, at least think it's healthy for myself. And then if I am in a social situation where you go out to dinner,   then I'm extremely restricted.  



[00:37:18] Unknown:

Like, no. I Can't really go to dinner there because I can't eat anything there. Yeah. It's difficult. Yeah. True. I I know people from the carnival space who Go out for dinner, but they only take sparkling water.   Yeah. For instance, yeah. And all the friends are eating   their salads or whatever.  

[00:37:36] Unknown:

I wanna be able to eat the sushi as well. You know, I'm gonna have a bad time maybe, but  

[00:37:41] Unknown:

yeah. I can imagine. Yeah. Yep. I have to say that that's farthest also an important thing for me.   So,   yeah.  

[00:37:50] Unknown:

Good question, though.   And so   if we go back for a bit, you said you were,   vegan or vegetarian   from the age of ten. Right?  

[00:38:02] Unknown:

Fidgetarian. And then Vegetarian. Tonight. It was 20 something. Yeah. Sure. It's gonna be vegan. Okay. What do you think,  

[00:38:11] Unknown:

started that when you were 10.  

[00:38:13] Unknown:

Oh, I was this girl who loved animals.   Worces. I did worse writing   until I was 18. We had our in horses,   big home, and eating animals was not something I liked.   Yeah.   Yeah. So I met some other worst people probably   We're vegetarian. So I became a vegetarian as well. Ah, okay. And your parents,  

[00:38:42] Unknown:

were were they supportive of that idea? Yes. They were.  

[00:38:46] Unknown:

Like, my mom had to   think like, oh, I'm crazy.   And my father was immediately supporting a lot.   I think he he thought it was a little bit cool as well. And Yeah. It's special when your child   does   something like that on a super old age.   And my mom,   she's making the food.   Had to make this 2 different tents and you know, making you take everything into account. She was not so happy with it, but she supported me,   yeah, as well. For sure.   Yeah. There are certain needs. And I have to wait on this about this. I think that's   My being and me being a vegetarian   has   all shame, influenced   my relationship with Foods because I was not feeding myself at the in a good way, which is not suitable   for   My body   you   start to have shortages.  

Fats,   animal protein, all different kinds of b Twelve, vitamin g minerals, that kind of things.   So you you become restless. Like, I need it. I need it. But because I my line told me I cannot have thoughts. I cannot have something that has calories.   Yeah. So I was restricting in the gallery way, but I was also restricting in, you know, creper foods way because I was not eating meats, not eating butter.   I think that also undistorted   my relationship with food.   But what is normal eating pattern?   It also made my system.   My body mind system very list.  



[00:40:34] Unknown:

Yeah.   Yeah. I can imagine.   And,   so so you did that for ethical reasons. For many years then, right, you you like animals.   I totally understand that I love animals as well.   So   How did you deal with that when you started to eat meat again as in the ethical thing is still there. Right? So Yeah. Sure. For sure. That's still there.  

[00:40:57] Unknown:

What changed was that my health became more important than my,   my deals.   So I was,   I think 10 years ago, I was   all for the planet   and   all for other people. And, you know, especially animals   nature. That was, you know, thing that was really important for me. I am also I also have a lot of friends who are a vegan criteria, you know, you know, walking the climate and demonstrations   in Amsterdam when they go on.   Mhmm. So That was my identity.   Yeah. That was   where I felt at home. That was what I thought was   good.   At some point, it shifted in me. I started to,   yeah,   care more about myself instead of my   environment.  

This has been a sensitive topic for me. Sometimes people   said to me. Oh, but no. You know, you eat meat, although I was eating it for a year then already.   So you care more now about your health.   Environment. And I was like, oh,   that's not the case. I only do,   organic needs, and I really care about the environment.   Then,   eating meat is no bad for the environment. I mean, getting all your avocados from the south of America   and eating,   like fake burger, meat burgers with, 35 different ingredients.   They'd spend for the environment. But what I do, you know, buying a little bit of meat   at the farm around the corner here is not banned for the environment. So I was just still emotional,   attached to that identity.  

Yeah.   No.   I feel more and more.   That's   my health actually became more important and this whole   discussion about environment,   eating animals.   I it's super complex.   Like, we cannot say this is good, and that is bad, or CO 2 is   bad thing. And then   Yeah. The ditch where it sticks off and not sure around the series.   Nitrogen.   It's the bad thing. And then   I don't know. There's so different   so many different sides of this discussion and   all the calculations, like What are they based? You you cannot really   find out, I think, what is the   diet that is least   harming the environments?  

I don't know because what is not harming the environment? In the end, I think I'm part of   cycle like   lions eat,   deers, deers, eat, grass,   I don't know. I'm also a part of this   cycle of life. I eat animals when I die, I go into the ground,   I've become, you know, some You become work food. Yeah.   And so that's how it works. And   We as human,   we had put ourselves on top of the food chain.   Like, we are on top and   Well, below us, there's this cycle of the animals and the trees and,   the whole museum network and but we are as human, we are above that.   And now I'm eating meats. I actually feel more paranoid.  

This whole freaking   weird. Amazing.   Cosmos, universe,   I'm part of. I'm not on top of it. I'm part of it.   So   I   may   Take my space. Like, I can I can   I may   take what I need to have to to be healthy?   When   my time has come, I will get back.   And also what I eat, maybe for instance, animal   products,   I'm   so an animal has to die for it.   It's   nourishing me.   And a nurse to Charlotte's   gifts to the world. You know, I give my inspiration,   my help. I give   money. I know I don't know. Whatever. I'm just being me.   Yeah, I I feel more part of it.   And I don't know what it is, but a part of it. Or  

[00:45:25] Unknown:

Yeah. So a completely different way of looking at it, basically.  

[00:45:29] Unknown:

Yeah. Yeah.   And, also,   giving more   weight   when he said to my health.   Mhmm. Instead of more weight to oh my god. I have to be   Good for the environment.   That's as also our shifted.  

[00:45:48] Unknown:

Yeah.   Yeah. That is, that's a very impressive,   evolution there,   especially, you know, you've taken a way more nuanced view   of the issues of climate change and,   ethical issues with animals   that most people do. It's not that black and white, and it's very complicated,   and we're all part of it. Yeah. Yeah.   So that's   yeah, I'm very impressed that you've already,   taken that   view points at thirty one   years of of age.   You know, you're an old soul.   So   okay. So now,   you've been kinda through this carnivore journey and now expanding your your pallet there and still healing.   And you mentioned that you also have a relationship   And,   as I've learned in your podcast by listening to your episodes,   you have a relationship with somebody that,  

[00:46:49] Unknown:

has a plant based diet Yeah. Is that correct? Yeah. Yeah. It's vegetarian. It does have some cheese. Mhmm. But mostly,  

[00:46:57] Unknown:

plant based. Yep. Okay. So how is that that going as in,   you know, you eat meat? He kinda doesn't.   Obviously, he has his reasons also for that. And you have your reasons for now too. Green guy riding electric golf cars and  

[00:47:14] Unknown:

thinking that's here too is, like, the worst and, you know, he's this   Yeah. So fundamentalist person.  

[00:47:21] Unknown:

So   that's you hit the core there, I think.   As in he he think he believes in the main narrative that CO 2 is a bad thing, and nitrogen is a bad thing.   And you have, a more nuanced view on it, might be bad. It might be something else. We might need to do something about it. Maybe not.   So how do you do that in a relationship? How does that work?  

[00:47:46] Unknown:

It it works pretty well. In the beginning,   It was   we had to find our way. It was kind of difficult.   And that was your first couple of dates we had was   last summer.   We only went out for dinner because I was thinking when we cook together,   can we do that? Because we need to make 2 different dishes. That's super weird. I felt   really weird being this carnivore person and I still had in my mind to speak to you that, okay, being a vegetarian is good, although I wasn't vegetarian anymore for 2 years, still in my mind, like the way I'm We all brainwash, like being a vegetarian is good,   and being this part of our person is not so good, but I'm taking care of way health. That's how I felt it, but I didn't really want to express   So I thought we cannot cook because then, oh, what can we do?  

So we only went out for dinner. I had my steak here at his   And,   and at some point, we thought we we thought, okay, we we have to stop going on for dinner. I mean, it's   we it's still expensive, and it's you also want to eat inside. It's and not always nice to have a robot for dinner.   But the the nice thing was that All the time when I came with something.   Me being a part of or me   doing   crazy long bike rides,   I don't know. He's very open for it, so   he will   You will never say, oh, that's weird. I'm not doing that. You always say, okay.   Maybe we can notice this and this to where it can work. So He because he's very open.  

Yeah. And   I started to feel the freedom to just eat like my own preferences, and he could eat, like, his preferences as well. So we developed   a a rhythm, like we eat very often together.   And does he cook his own plan and I cook my own plan? And sometimes for instance, when he comes to me for dinner,   I sometimes I call him, oh, do you have a preference what you want to eat? I buy all that stuff, and I make for him. I don't know. Corsiatini   Spaghetti with,   cherry tomatoes.   I have my eggs,   for instance.   And we did that for a long time. Nowadays,   it's getting closer. Because he's sometimes   having some of my bone broth when I eat the asset with dinner.  

Because in him, he's opening as well. Like, I think I came through a   he came through a very   environmentalist   point of view that stated a little bit like that. It   He's opening up that I think my whole journey and all the things we talk about   Yeah. And he's also a little bit searching with his health, his diabetic. Type 1.   He's also looking for ways to   maybe   lower the insulin needs a little bit. So how can you do that?   You limit your curves.   Yeah. Focusing more protein effects.   So he's   trying it.   Yeah. Opening up for all these kind of things and having sometimes a little bite of my needs or having some bone broth. So,   It was actually not a problem. We just had to find our way in it of cooking 2 different bins.  

That's okay.   Sometimes we still do that. Sometimes I just want 8 x, and he wants to have his cell a thing. That's fine. Sometimes we eat together.   We make one thing that's also fine.   Beautiful. I guess you need to very open minded people to make that work. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. And I was afraid in the beginning because I thought I was weird. And I have to sense the thing about food. So I'm I have this,   like, before anything is said, I'm already a little bit ashamed about food.   So I really needed him to   be to be so open to open up as well. And now we have this freedom   in how we eat, in our relationship, and   that's something I really   would like to wish for anyone because it's super nice to always can decide, oh, I wanna have this. I wanna have that instead of What do you want? What do I want? Can we find something in the middle?  

Yeah. I like to eat what I want. For me, it's a little bit more difficult to   compromise and dance. And that's very possible. Like, now I can actually always eat what I want, and he's really going with the flow. And in him,   There's something changing in   value wise,   we, Renee,   let each other,   having our own values, having our own ideas, we talk about it. We both think it's super interesting how   the way we eat, impacts, our footprint.   Environment and all that kind of stuff. We read about it.   We share podcasts about it. So it's also a colon.   Interest.  

So it's actually nice   and that we both had different ways. It's fine.  

[00:52:57] Unknown:

Yeah.   Okay. Oh, that's interesting.  

[00:53:00] Unknown:

Yeah.  

[00:53:01] Unknown:

Alright.   So,   we're coming up to, to an hour already.   Maybe do you have some practical tips for people that are also going through a health journey or struggling with their,   Let's say food identity, you know, trying to get better and more healthy.   What's your practical advice for people?  

[00:53:24] Unknown:

Yeah. That's a tough one because it it really depends on where you are in your health journey if you're looking for   rules, for instance, or if you are looking for, okay, what kind of food suits my body? I want to eat that way, and it's really easy for me to do that.   And   I would say he go to a therapist that   tell you   what kind of body type you are.   I went to it, Stacy, traditional Chinese medicine,   person.   She   measured my whole body, and it really helps me in my food journey   to   listen to my intuition   when it comes to eating meat, for instance. I really needed that.   But it's when you're struggling with your boots because you have a difficult relationship with it because you're an emotional eater or you have a   a long, long   history of dieting   and restricting.  

Then   I would say your main goal is   to   look into debts,   look into reasons why you'll eat or why you'll not eat, and   Become really honest with yourself.   To the to what extent is your self worth?   Ending on the way you look.   The way you eat.   Also,   your identity, like, is yourself worth?   Thing.   Is is it depending on   is it vegetarian or not? You know, is it yet good? It's because all those IDs   like that, the whole body image ID and   IDs you have around this   and also   picture of   what is good for the environment?   All those mental IDs   shape your the way you eat.  

And that   puts you away from what your body is actually telling you to eat.   And if you have a very distorted relationship with foods, it's difficult to get it back into that contact with your body.   But the first thing you need to do is   Think for yourself. What kind of rules do I have?   Do I need to be skinniest or no? Okay. What how do how am I doing that actually?   What kind of roles do I have about the environment? How is that influencing   my   the the way I eat.   So discover for yourself what kind of rules you have   about your body, about your   foods.  

And I think that's very important first step. For me, that was really important. It still is   yeah,   to become aware of that.   So I don't have to let that rule or eating decisions.   Yeah.  

[00:56:21] Unknown:

Okay. That's some great advice.   And where can people   find you and more about you and connect with you?  

[00:56:29] Unknown:

I have a website.   It's www.churnletonshadenl.nl   because I have a practice for family constellations,   and on that website, you can find more about it. It's in Dutch.   I also   have a podcast to actually   once the beta ate a podcast, you also shared about it.   It's a Dutch podcast about foods and   food journeys of people   in the carnival space and also   Outside of the coronavirus space. I have a podcast. It's called Turtle to Yeltina Podcast. It's more about my old journey with personal developments.   So   and it's all findable on my websites.  

[00:57:14] Unknown:

Okay. Excellent. Lots of content there. I will link to that in the show notes So you can see that, below this, audio or video or wherever you are consuming this, and then you can connect with Charlotte,   to see what she's up to. Yeah.   This has been wonderful. Thank you very much.  

[00:57:33] Unknown:

Thank you.  

[00:57:35] Unknown:

Thank you for spending time with me to learn about health and wellness.   For the full transcript and more content, visit improving varied.com.   That is improving   badoubry.com.   And here is a disclaimer.   The information in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute   the practice of medicine   nursing, or other professional health care services,   including the giving of medical advice   and no doctor patient relationship is formed.   The use of information in this podcast is at the user's own risk. The content of this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis,   or treatment.  

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